Children can and do thrive after their parents have separated. Whether they thrive or just survive depends almost entirely on the choices their parents make. Factors that are known to benefit children are the parents ability to work things out for themselves without getting too entrenched in the family law system. Mediation is very effective for those parents who wish to put their children’s self esteem and well being first. Arrangements made at mediation include: how the children will spend time with each parent, how the parents will communicate with each other and with the children when they are not with them, what will happen in the holidays and other special occasions.